We all stumble in many ways….
Stalker C does not pass out although her eyes may pop out of her head any minute. Her mouth remains slightly open.
Nightfall is near. The hours of rain bring darkness sooner than we anticipated.
SunFloJo looks at my camera and then nods toward the poo.
After waiting until Stalker C moves ahead of us, I take a picture of the bear scat.
“Thank you, sweetie,” SunFloJo says.
It is unclear if the poo pic is evidence for the search party when we go missing after a bear drags us away or for a tale to tell when we get back home. I do not ask.
We walk on through the increasingly dense trees.
Inside my head I chuckle. Turns out a bear does **** in the woods.
And with that thought, I instantly am in a squelched fit of giggles at the back of the line. I silently consider the creation of greeting cards and funny texts and who-knows-what marketing hype around the bear scat theme. Perhaps I am delirious at this point of the day?
I fall further behind, but I see the Steam Team’s colored backpacks ahead through the rain and dripping leaves. The trail leads us down, down, step over poo, down, more poo, down. Slide. Adjust footing. Down. We hear water flowing. It grows louder. Maybe there is a creek up due to the rain.
We must be getting close to Rapidan Camp. This is what I have been waiting for!
Despite the water sounds, there is still more trail and time for my mind to wander. I think about our friend Deb and feel her in spirit. I bet she is thinking about us too. Perhaps she is looking at a copy of our trail plan. She likes historical places. We share that in common. I think about how she crafted the trail questions knowing that all four of us are at crossroads in our lives.
The three ahead of me pause. I catch up with the group. I am out of breath. Maybe we will take time to rest.
What. Is. That?
The group faces a fast-paced waterfall that crashes into something much more than a creek. It is a river.
As I contemplate the beauty of the waterfall–I want to soak in all the beauty today—I am surprised that SunFloJo begins to cross the river!
Wait a minute.
Have we thought this through?
There is a big gap between the land I stand on and the land on the other side. With all the rain today, the water flows fast. The water looks deep. Much deeper than a creek anyway. We stand at the foot of the mountain we just descended and across from us is a new mountain to ascend.
My brain searches my memory of the map. I do not remember crossing a river at any point on the trail.
Is this Rapidan River?
I look down our side of the riverbank. Shouldn’t we be going that way? Along the river on this side instead of crossing it?
That may be an overgrown path to our left. It is hard to tell and just out of my reach. I can see debris and trees that are uprooted in the mud covering what may be where our trail goes. That looks like more of a trail to me. I am too tired to walk over and investigate. Every calorie burned matters at this point in the day. Also, I do not want to risk being lost from the team.
Why am I so darn slow that I catch up after decisions are made? Can we talk about this?
Nature is loud here. There is no talking.
SunFloJo is three large wet rocks into the river right along the bottom of the falls where the river is white from the rush of rapids. To the left of her looks deep and moves fast.
I squint to see a tree with a yellow blaze symbol on the other side of the river. Wow, I guess we are physically crossing the river. I was not expecting this at all.
Fearless SunFloJo looks back at us and points to the tree on the other side with a yellow blaze. I choose to trust that she knows what she is doing. That must be the blaze we are looking for to continue the trail. I must be wrong about staying on this side of the river.
Does she not know there is water underfoot that will take her away? Or is that just me being overly cautious?
Sunshine Rat is carefree with good balance. She makes it to the other side and waits for us.
Stalker C sways on a rock, then catches herself. She makes it.
One rock. Two. Step, step. Rain continues. The sky is a dark green gray. My pack is heavy. Will the pack ruin my balance? Will I fall? The water races beneath me. One slip will be trouble. Please do not fall.
I use my poles to steady myself hoping they will not slip either.
Sunshine Rat points, “Watch that one. It’s wiggly.”
That was nice of her. I step quickly right, left, into the mud and arrive at the opposite side of the river.
And then we are off on what feels like a fresh start. How can we start a new journey this late in the day? I am not sure what time it is. I wonder where in the heck is Rapidan Camp?
My concerns quickly fade because there is a new type of beauty over here. It is hard to imagine how each area could be so new to me in the woods, but this is different. My mind is all in even if my body screams. There is black earth underfoot with skinny trees and leaves stretching to a sky we cannot see. We climb up the hill, higher and higher above the river.
This takes a bit of physical effort, but thank you, Lord, this is gorgeous. Rain is heavy now and I do not care. We make it to a ridge pathway that overlooks the river to our left down below. The river looks smaller as we travel higher.
We walk and walk. I ease into meditation again. No words come to mind. I am at peace. My mind is blank.
Water drips from my eyelashes.
Higher and higher we climb. I forget the concern I felt when we crossed the river. I forget how tired my body is.
We hear the water below and feel drops from the sky. My walking poncho tent somewhat keeps my backpack dry.
I remain in the back of the line. SunFloJo turns to check on me occasionally. I nod to acknowledge her kindness.
Now the trail slopes back down the hill overlooking what I still assume is Rapidan River.
The day feels like it gets longer and longer, but the dark sky seems to think the day is already done. Hopefully, we get in and out of Rapidan Camp soon. We may only have a short visit since we have to walk another 1.5 miles after visiting in order to set up tents for the night.
Down the hill below me I see Sunshine Rat and SunFloJo pull out the official map. They consult with one another. They look serious. This barely registers in my brain because I am one with the trees.
Like me, Stalker C must have been in a Zen state. She abruptly stops her downhill inertia in order to not run over SunFloJo and Sunshine Rat.
As I approach, Stalker C’s face turns in horror to look at me. In slow motion, her mouth says, “We might be lost. We might have gone the wrong way.”
This news is a magnesium fire starter. Flames engulf my peace.
With zero thought, words fly out of my mouth, “We should not have crossed that #*&%@%^ river!”
© Copyright 2016 Surrender On The Trail – Glenna S. Edwards
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