One time a therapist asked me, “So when are you going to forgive them?”
I replied, “I do. Every morning of every day.” I paused. Then said, “And someday I won’t have to think about forgiving them anymore.”
The therapist gave me a look that I interpreted as, Ok then. Carry on.
Seems like an extreme moment in some respects and it was for me. Fortunately I’ve reached a time now when I hardly ever think about the situation which brought me to that moment. I suppose I’ve arrived at the “forget” part of “forgive and forget.” I’ll take it.
Forgive and forget rarely happens at the same time for most people. I see folks deal with hurt and struggles regarding forgiveness over and over each year.
Humans. Seems like we like to carry baggage around sometimes. I am learning to travel lighter and lighter and to forgive quickly–try to!
The song Who You Are by Unspoken is one of my favorite songs about forgiveness.
Have you ever known someone who wants to stay mad, wants to hold onto their hurt, wants to punish someone into apologizing and then still won’t forgive them? That is a sad and difficult place because even if someone did say or wants to say sorry the other person refuses their attempt.
I know sometimes people need time. So give them their time. All you can do is apologize and hope/pray for the best.
Forgive yourself too. Give forgiveness and release yourself from the pain. Forgiveness is a process.
Aren’t we lucky that Jesus doesn’t hold grudges?
Imagine if Jesus said, “What? I die in sacrifice for you and you still mess up? I’m not talking to you. I’m going to bully you, punish you, tell everyone I know about how you wronged me. I’m not even going to look at you.” Imagine.
But that’s not how Jesus is. He forgives 70 x 7 (Matthew 18:21-22). He says love your enemies (Matthew 5:44). He says we are to love one another (John 13:34).
The Bible is filled with good advice about forgiveness…and all that wisdom is easy to forget about when we are mad. Put away the anger. Draw life from His Word.
Here’s a link to: Who You Are. I adore the lyrics.