Hubby says as I enter the kitchen this morning, “Our grand kids were supposed to visit us in this house.”
Sigh. It’s true. That was the plan. I’ve had that cry numerous times as the “stuff removal” continues. I don’t see how we can stay in this home for a few reasons. There is only a half bath on the first floor, no shower. Bedrooms and full baths are upstairs. Finances are strained.
I carry on with trash collecting and errand running. My mind wanders in and out of the Surrender experiment. I reflect on parts of the day 2 verse: Be humble, God will lift up in due time, cast all anxiety on Him, He cares.
In the Walmart parking lot I catch my hands making a tossing motion to cast all my anxiety toward the sky. I think about writer friend, Kelly, who tweeted last night about the experiment “What are we holding back from God?”
That question led me to add to my surrender list:
8. Dear God, I give you the dark places of my mind, the places that I rarely acknowledge even to myself. I will no longer hold anything back. It is all Yours.
At Kroger near the seafood someone calls out, “Glenna!” It is a neighbor from our street.
“I saw that you agreed to be one of the stops on the deck crawl.” It’s true. Our neighbors have an annual progressive party. I don’t plan to make a big deal out of it, but in my mind being a stop on the list of addresses is my way of quietly saying goodbye.
Our chat continues a while. My neighbor offers wonderful ideas about turning our first floor laundry room, located next to the half bath, into an accessible shower. She suggests that our laundry equipment move to the second floor or to the garage. By the time we are done I can visualize the new set up. A bedroom in our living room or dining room would be the easiest part of the adjustment. I leave her side feeling hopeful. She even gave me a contractor phone number.
The day continues and I end up taking a nap. I woke up not as hopeful, but open to possibilities. I will call for an estimate.
And the surrender list continues:
9. I release my thoughts about how our current challenges will evolve.
10. I will continue to practice surrender and let go each day this week. I will seek and stay close to God. Your ways are higher.
John 16:33 (NIV) I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
I believe there is peace found in surrender. My main discovery in this experiment is that surrender is a process. I have lots of practicing to do. Thanks for joining me on this journey. What are you learning about surrender?
Blessings to you and yours,