And then the fridge broke. Dear God, I can not handle one more thing breaking.
Quickly the Holy Spirit reminds me that this is a first world problem. We go a week with the contents gone and the refrigerator doors open. I surrender this too, Lord. Take it please. I have nothing left in my brain to solve this challenge.
In a moment that reminds me there are no coincidences, I run into friends from a past small group at church. Within 50 hours the fridge is fixed. Hallelujah. I continue other house projects with volunteer help as it is available. Hubby has an extra tough week physically. ALS seems to have lows and lower lows, then levels out. There’s a pattern I can’t identify, but I know the clock ticks and we need to move to a more accessible home soon. I look forward to the day when I can see him rest easier in a new environment.
I listen to music while painting. Worship is powerful. It is my battle cry and my surrender prayer. Here are 3 songs that I listen to most through the brush strokes:
1. Who You Say I Am – Hillsong Worship. When I feel like I have failed, this song reminds me I am a child of God, chosen, not forsaken. While watching church online I share with Hubby, “I’m sorry. We were blessed to work with almost 7,000 kids and families in the last 15 years, and maybe this work has been a failure for our own family. It’s my fault.” He kindly answers, “How do you know it’s failed? Maybe not.” God is bigger than what my limited view can see. 2. It Is Well – Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music. No matter what happens “through it all my Eyes are on You, through it all it is well…and it is well with me.” “This mountain that is in front of me will be thrown into the sea.” “The waves and wind still know His name.” “So let go my soul and trust in Him.”
3. No Longer Slaves – Jonathan David & Bethel Music. Fear and spackle are frequent companions these days. This song reminds me “Love has called my name”. “I am surrounded by the arms of the Father”. “Let us sing freedom”. Fear is not welcome, but it is a daily fight.
There are miracles in process all around me. My angst is cast onto the Father continuously.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
I can not explain the miracles and help that has shown up but for the grace of God. To Him we give the glory. One day we may list out these miracles for you. To those who have literally been the hands and feet of Jesus, we thank you. And thanks is not enough.
We carry on in the home stretch marking things off the to-do list along the way.