Category: Encouragement

BETRAYAL

Published on by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

It happens.

And I’m not talking about ____ (fill in the blank, try to keep it clean).

I’m talking about betrayal. Ouch!

Betrayal is part of life and yet most of us are surprised when it happens. If you live long enough someone will disappoint you, hurt you and leave you…intentionally or unintentionally.

I like to think most people don’t want to hurt someone else on purpose. I like to think most hurt is unintended. But when betrayal is on purpose anything could be the root cause of someone’s decision to hurt another human; perhaps they have the opportunity to get ahead at work, or they decide they don’t like you anyway, or they care more about xyz than they do you, or they rationalize in their mind that they are right and you’ll get over it, or temptation got the best of them. Who knows, right?

And how often when we do not know the root cause of why the betrayal happened we dwell on the reasons why? Why, why did they do this? Ugh. We dwell. For days. Or months. –What a waste of precious mind power!

When we read scripture and learn about Jesus, notice how he rolled with the punches. Jesus was not surprised when Judas betrayed him. Jesus wasn’t surprised when Peter went back to fishing when he should have been out sharing the gospel.

Jesus said things like, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

If Jesus could hang on a cross and still say forgive them, then how can we not strive to offer the same love in our day to day situations?

The punches come and go. Try to roll with life like Jesus. And seek guidance from Above to heal your pain…so you don’t dwell, so you don’t replay the tapes in your head over and over again.

You are worth more than wasted energy. You are precious and every human is learning at a different rate. Allow the space for personal growth. Look at betrayal as pruning; perhaps you needed less of that person in your life anyway. Allow peace and forgiveness in your heart.

Remember that Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

I believe some of the most successful people are those who forgive and overlook quickly. They do their best not to waste a moment of precious time or mind power. Learning to accept betrayal as part of life and learning how to forgive quickly may not be easy, but practice makes imperfect bearable.

Glenna

WHAT’S MY MOTIVE?

Published on by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

What’s my motive? is my new favorite question.

We humans do thousands of actions and spew millions of words each day, but how often do we keep in check our reasons why we do or say “stuff”?

Why do we feel the need to share a story or state what we ate for breakfast today? Do we know why we go to a weekly meeting?

Why do we choose to be nice to the boss or kind to a co-worker, but maybe not kind to someone else?

So lately–as often as I can think of it–I’ve begun to ask myself “what is my motive?” before speaking or before taking certain actions. If my motive is selfish or self-serving, then I try to refrain by holding my tongue.

Recently I attended an event with my son. I looked forward to seeing some friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. There was a bunch of things I thought about sharing with them, but when I asked myself what is my motive?, there was no good reason to go into what was on my mind. I chose to chill and listen.

I learned that both of my parenting peers have been going through some tough stuff; a death in the family, an illness with grandparents, etc. They needed to talk and it felt good to relax and simply be there for them.

Sure, there are times to chat it up and there are times to be the listener, but to discern the right timing is key. Start with knowing what your motive is.

I believe that checking your motive takes practice. I’m sure I’ll be practicing for the rest of my life. Here’s a link to verses about holding your tongue. Good stuff! http://www.openbible.info/topics/taming_your_tongue

Glenna

GRATITUDE WALK

Published on by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

Sometimes I focus too much on challenges ahead or on things I want to happen. While I’m all for big goals and dreams, my mind and body slows down or trips over my bigger dream when I should focus on what I can accomplish today. What task can I do today that will ultimately help get me closer to the dream I seek?

Am I anxious and worried about what I haven’t done yet instead of relaxing and working on the tasks at hand? Do I do nothing when I could be doing something? Occasionally I shut down when I should get busy. And sometimes fear leads me to work on the less important tasks instead of focusing on what I know must be priority.

One calming exercise for me is to take a Gratitude Walk around the house (or anywhere). I thank God for things like laundry detergent, clothes, heat, family, pets, food, a quality vacuum cleaner, etc. You name it, there is so much to be thankful for.

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Once I give thanks, I make my to-do list. I ask God to help me complete what can be done today and He can take care of the big goal in His time. Then it’s my turn to get busy.

Don’t let your mind or anxiety slow you down. Greater things are yet to come…one grateful step at a time.

Glenna

THE GARBAGE IS FULL

Published on by Glenna S. Edwards6 Comments

Pet peeve alert. And a disclaimer alert. –As in, what I’m about to tell you is something I witness that bothers me, but I also struggle with this topic too. I humbly share the following metaphor and follow up information. See if you can relate also.

First, the metaphor: I don’t like garbage to pile up in my vehicle. It does not bother me if other people fill their cars with garbage, but every time I pull into my driveway or a parking lot with a trash can, I try to toss the garbage. I do not sweep or wipe out my vehicle nearly enough, but the garbage must go daily.

Last week I was eager to clear my trash when I noticed that every garbage can in the parking lot was overflowing. If I had tried to add my trash, then I only would have added to the overflow situation. The garbage cans were full. My trash would have to wait.

This life moment reminded me of how sometimes people go through a heavy mess of stuff in their life. Sometimes a person is so overflowing that their pain is obvious. That person may choose to share their troubles with you.

Here’s the pet peeve part: when someone begins to share what is ailing them I think we need to be careful not to add to their garbage. Jumping in to tell someone a story about our own lives, interrupting the other person, trumping them with a nearly similar story…all of that is usually not a good idea–at least not a good idea in that initial sharing time. How much better is it when we simply seek to be present for the other person? How rare is it for anyone to feel heard all the way? –For someone to speak and to be allowed to finish their thought?

I’m not saying that we never share when we have something in common with the other person’s issue. I’m just saying that if someone’s garbage is full, then don’t add to it. Maybe you send them an encouraging word later. Maybe you tell them at a later time that you may be able to relate to their story. Or maybe you simply give the other person the gift of listening and leave it at that.

Occasionally I struggle with this area too. After an exchange passes I may think, “Why did I feel the need to share that in response? What was my motive?”

If our motives are to be there for others and not add to their garbage, then usually the answer is to be present, to be quiet and truly listen.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things you have….

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God….

May we be a good listener for others.
May we be blessed with good listeners when we need them.
May we know the difference and the right timing for both.

Glenna

FORGIVENESS – YOU CAN’T EARN IT, BUT YOU CAN GIVE IT

Published on by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

One time a therapist asked me, “So when are you going to forgive them?”

I replied, “I do. Every morning of every day.” I paused. Then said, “And someday I won’t have to think about forgiving them anymore.”

The therapist gave me a look that I interpreted as, Ok then. Carry on.

Seems like an extreme moment in some respects and it was for me. Fortunately I’ve reached a time now when I hardly ever think about the situation which brought me to that moment. I suppose I’ve arrived at the “forget” part of “forgive and forget.” I’ll take it.

Forgive and forget rarely happens at the same time for most people. I see folks deal with hurt and struggles regarding forgiveness over and over each year.

Humans. Seems like we like to carry baggage around sometimes. I am learning to travel lighter and lighter and to forgive quickly–try to!

The song Who You Are by Unspoken is one of my favorite songs about forgiveness.

Have you ever known someone who wants to stay mad, wants to hold onto their hurt, wants to punish someone into apologizing and then still won’t forgive them? That is a sad and difficult place because even if someone did say or wants to say sorry the other person refuses their attempt.

I know sometimes people need time. So give them their time. All you can do is apologize and hope/pray for the best.

Forgive yourself too. Give forgiveness and release yourself from the pain. Forgiveness is a process.

Aren’t we lucky that Jesus doesn’t hold grudges?

Imagine if Jesus said, “What? I die in sacrifice for you and you still mess up? I’m not talking to you. I’m going to bully you, punish you, tell everyone I know about how you wronged me. I’m not even going to look at you.” Imagine.

But that’s not how Jesus is. He forgives 70 x 7 (Matthew 18:21-22). He says love your enemies (Matthew 5:44). He says we are to love one another (John 13:34).

The Bible is filled with good advice about forgiveness…and all that wisdom is easy to forget about when we are mad. Put away the anger. Draw life from His Word.

Here’s a link to: Who You Are. I adore the lyrics.

Enjoy.

Peace,

Glenna

UNSEEN PAIN

Published on by Glenna S. Edwards3 Comments

Last Thursday I did not see the stout Ford Mustang before it hit the back of my Chevy mini-van tank, but I felt the impact.  Wham! 

A testament to both vehicles, neither seemed to be damaged other than the scratches on my bumper.  I did not see major indentions or anything to worry about.  My van is a decade old and has suffered several bumps, bruises and crunches along the way.  This was the van’s hardest hit event, though, by far.

At first I was just glad that I was hit and not the hitter.  You know what I mean?  The other driver and I went our separate ways.  I was delighted neither driver was hurt and I was eager to get on with my day. 

I felt good, but as the hours to follow passed, then I began to feel the pain of whiplash.  Ouch.  My head, neck, back, leg…I could go on…all ached.  And I felt nauseous.  My friend who is a physical therapist called with a list of do’s and don’ts which I appreciated.  I followed her list that night and next day.

It took a couple of days until I began to feel better, but during this time I was reminded of the concept of unseen pain.

How many people are walking around experiencing the whiplash of life?  We’re going into the holiday season which can be a mixed bag of emotions.  Think about the people you know who lost a loved one this year or had surgery or is a caregiver, etc. 

Who looks like they are carrying on with their day, but may be in pain?  Who is grieving rejection or a major change in their life routine?

Basically, who could use your encouragement?  If you feel led to, then send an extra card, e-mail or text to friends who might need an extra reason to smile.  You can make someone’s day better simply by letting them know you care.

May we have an encouraging spirit this holiday season,

Glenna

ASK GOD; THE STORY OF MY FLIGHT WITH DAVID

Published on by Glenna S. Edwards4 Comments

Last week I was blessed to go to a conference out of town.  The conference was incredible; however, the two flights on the way to Boston were “eventful”.

Flight One:  The couple sitting next to me vomited into a cup the whole flight.  Gross.  They had to get replacement cups a couple of times.  Yep.  Yuck.  Thoughts of movies like Contagion came to mind.  The row of people in front of me was obviously sick with colds.  Snot, sneezing, watery eyes. 

Are you still with me?  I wouldn’t blame you for running.  At the time I wanted to run too, but there was nowhere to go!  Every seat was full. 

Flight Two:  The pilot announced that we had a mechanical.  We sat at the gate on another full flight for 40 minutes until the issue was resolved and the flying part of the flight began.  On this flight I sat next to a man who looked like he may have had a rough life so far, but he is not puking or sneezing so I’m good to go, I thought.  His rosy face looked like someone who might have issues with alcohol and I may have smelled similar indicators.  I cautioned myself not to judge.  He seemed quiet and I imagined we would get along swell in the serenity of our silence.

Until he was no longer quiet. 

I was playing a game of chess on my Nook® when he observed my (lack of) chess skills.  Side note:  I have not won a chess game against our 10 year old for over 10 months.  My seat buddy began to provide several chess tips that I plan to try at home.

And then he began to share stories from his life–a lot of stories.

I should point out that I really do enjoy hearing stories from people.  I believe that every story counts and is interesting.  I like to listen.  I liked listening to him.

But there are moments when you meet a talkative stranger when you pause to wonder if once the faucet is running…if it will ever stop running.  You feel me?

Logically I knew the flight would end one way or another, but I was in stranger land and there were many acres to hear about.  The more comfortable he became, the closer he was to me and occasionally he would rub my arm.  Meanwhile, spit flew from his mouth several times to land mostly on my arm.

I felt that uneasy trapped feeling.  That’s when the thought entered my mind you better ask God what to do with this situation. 

So I did:  God, what do you want me to do?  What does this man need from me?

My immediate reply thoughts which may have been answers straight from above were:  He is lonely.  Encourage him.  And my next thought was And somehow tell him that God is there for him and he should–if he feels he needs to–catch up on his relationship with God.

Oh, man.  My throat gets dry and my stomach nervous when I feel the need to mention God to a total stranger!

The life stories played on.  He used to own a title agency and lost his business.  When he was a kid his family moved around a lot.  He currently does not have a home.  He flies to work for a couple weeks for a car promotion company and then returns to crash on various friends’ couches.  He lived in Florida for a while, but has decided he no longer is a fan of the state.  He was picked up for a crime he didn’t commit and spent time in jail.  Before going to jail he spent five awful days in a prison van picking up other prisoners.  He never had kids, but wishes he had.  I could go on….

I was at a loss for words until the pilot asked us to prepare for landing.  I asked my stranger friend, “What is your name?”

He said, “David.”

“Ohhh,” I replied and shared my name too.

“Nice to meet you,” David said.

I shared, “You know…in the Bible, David reinvented himself several times.  He wasn’t just about killing the giant and then life was peachy.  David endured a lot.  He made mistakes.  He bounced back.”

David’s eyes seemed to brighten.  “I forgot about that.  You’re right.”

“I bet you’re in the middle of reinventing yourself too.  Correct?”

“Yes.  I am.  But I’ve been away from God for a long time.  I’ve been thinking about getting back in touch with God and maybe going to church.”

“Good for you,” I agreed.  “God is just a prayer away.  He’s here for you today.  And you’re wise about church–that would be a good place for fellowship and to grow in wisdom.”

Before we left the plane, David determined that he would reconnect with God and with a church he had been thinking about going to visit. 

David also stated that he had been wishing for encouragement that day.

You never know who you’ll meet any given day.  And how many times do we not know what to say? 

I’m going to ask God more often what to do.

I do not have all the answers, but I know who does.

Love,

Glenna