We all open mouth and insert foot sometimes. To follow is an example. It was an early morning coffee meeting and the person across the table from me talked about running into a mutual friend from our past who is obese. They paused while looking at me with body language that said oops, waved their hand dismissively in my direction, and then said out loud, “Not like fat you can come back from. Worse than that.”
Oh. I see.
Now…I am strong. I feel healthy except for my weight and feel comfortable in my own skin. In fact, I have some great fat clothes these days. I can pull it together so to speak, toss the hair, and be in public just fine. I mean, I’m only 3 sizes bigger than my favorite size. And 3 is a small number, right?! I rationalize.
I’ve thought about their phrase for a few months. They back pedaled a bit to offer excuses for my stressful life and then gave up trying to course correct their tongue. I politely shuffled them on to the next meeting topic.
One of my truths is that I have a bad relationship with 20 pounds. We are on again and off again. Sometimes I can gain and lose the same 20 pounds twice in a year! And it’s not just 20 pounds that is the issue. If I could successfully keep off the first 20, then there’s practically a whole kindergartener that I need to lose additionally to reach what charts say I should weigh.
I am super blessed that my husband has never in 26 years of knowing me ever said even one negative thing about my body. This is on the list of the things I love about him. Meanwhile, his body is failing him/us with the diagnosis of ALS-21. Our reality is that my body needs to step it up to be healthier in the caregiver role that we/I face.
Reality in mind, I’m officially breaking up with those pesky 20 pounds again with the goal to, like Taylor Swift says, “never ever ever get back together”. I’m back at the gym and using the Lose It! app to track calories.
Here are a couple people on Instagram who inspire me in the journey of weight loss:
FatGirlFedUp – I marvel every time Lexi posts side by side pictures of her wedding day at 485 pounds vs. present day after losing over 300 pounds. She shares her story and food/exercise tips.
DiscoveringDanny – Danny is Lexi’s husband and workout partner. Their journey is worth following. I adore a sweet love story.
1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.
I am reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. I’ve read it before, but this time I am answering the questions at the end of each chapter and being honest with myself.
I’ll let you know how the break up goes! If you want to connect on the Lose It! app, I am GSE or firstname.lastname@example.org.
God bless you,