Health – Page 3 – Glenna S. Edwards

What We Think vs. What Is, Plus Tea

Published on October 13, 2019October 13, 2019 by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

Dear People,

I admired her. I wanted her to like me. I hoped we’d be friends.

And–I was fairly sure she didn’t think anything at all about me.

That lady was busy doing important things that I liked being part of even if on the fringe. She might not have known my first and/or last name.

I attempted a conversation or two. I doubted my spoken words connected to her brain.

Isn’t that how it goes sometimes? We like someone. We share similar ideas with them. They do work we think is cool. We are confident they have zero interest in getting to know us.

Years later she calls me. Wha…wha…what?

She wants to meet at a restaurant.

So I go.

And it turns out she likes my brain too.

She has been reading my blog and asks me to help her think through a couple things. Then she asks me to pray for her weekly in the months ahead as she works on a project.

I say…ok.

Like, O and K together softly, genuinely.

Before agreeing I took a few seconds to think about whether I could fit her request into my life. Which, I gotta say, is one of my most grown up moments. To consider if I could make time for something new, to think about if I could honor her and my word, ah, yes, that is an adult moment for me.

Connection isn’t always obvious, dear readers. Sometimes less is more. We don’t have to force anything. Be present. Be kind. Carry on. Don’t compromise. Be you. Things come around if they are meant to be.

This example gives me hope that a relationship with a literary agent will come into my life too. It’s happened for others. It will happen for me too. I’ve written two novels in three years (dog gone it) while in the midst of serious life changes.

The pressure is on and off at the same time. My coal is being pressed. I’m learning all I can about who might be my #DreamAgent. It will happen. I know you’re out there.

Until then I am sipping Hot Cinnamon Spice tea on a Sunday morning. I’ve learned that quality tea and taking time to breathe is valuable. I’m putting my mug out there and wishing peace for you and your dreams too.

Love,

Glenna

Put It In The Bear Box

Published on October 6, 2019October 6, 2019 by Glenna S. Edwards2 Comments

I could not physically go on. After walking sunrise to sunset miles down a mountain and then miles back up, I was d-o-n-e done.

In fact, I was not sure I could make it from the large rock where I sat to where we were supposed to pitch tents for the night. My feet felt as if each toe was on fire.

SunFloJo [trail name] returned from scouting the campsite while the group of us stayed with the backpacks and overnight equipment.

I confessed, “I don’t think I can do this another day. It is your dream to hike all week and you should not miss the chance. I’m slowing you down, and I’ve thought it through. I absolutely will be fine if you leave me behind. I’ve got a book. And I am sure I’ll be safe. You must go on without me.” I even carried a fairly lethal knife that my oldest son insisted I have in my pocket during the trip. Whether bears or other probs, I would be fine. My biggest challenge would be disappointment in myself as I watched the other women leave me behind.

I gauged her facial expression to be a mix of “so true that you are slowing us down and yet no, I can’t leave you alone“.

I hobbled to camp and collapsed for a while as daylight slipped into night sky.

My mind spun around options regarding what to do next. I felt beyond grateful to no longer have a sweaty back and backpack attached. The group ate and laughed.

We placed food or items that might cause animal smell curiosity into a bear box.

The bear box was a new concept for me. I marveled at its purpose and convenience. To prepare for the trip we had brought a bear bag and rope to place items away from us and up a tree. This night, though, we had the fancy metal box. It felt like we had a community chest of drawers out in the woods. I appreciated the safety and kindness of the bear box.

One Benadryl later, I fell asleep too tired to wonder what that scurry sound was swishing by my single person tent.

Birds became my alarm clock that week. I lay thinking hard about what it would take to continue the trail.

What if half of what I had been carrying simply stayed behind in the bear box? Could we swing back by this place at the end of the week when we have access to a car again?

Long story short, that is what we did. Everyone, especially me, lightened our load. The bear box held the burden. I dared to lace up hiking boots again and head back to the trail knowing the next stop did not have the convenience of a bear box. The next stop we planned to be much deeper in the woods. I didn’t want to miss the next level challenge.

The bear box has become a mental metaphor for me when times are tough. What can I leave behind for now? What do I need to deal with today, tonight, and leave the rest for later?

In many ways, the bear box represented my faith during that trip.

Best wishes to you this week. If you can’t carry the burden, feel free to stick it in the metaphorical bear box for now.

Love,

Glenna

Matthew 11:28-30 ²⁸“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Bestie Mantra Weekend

Published on September 25, 2019September 25, 2019 by Glenna S. Edwards1 Comment

Driving 3 hours to her house, I think of all we might do in a 24 hour getaway. I will go as far as karaoke. I’m all in.

Good food and laughter are guaranteed. I need a minute away. Home is stable. This is my chance. Hubby wishes me well with my favorite, “Have fun.”

I appreciate and love my girlfriends so much. They keep me sane. I could listen to stories about what goes on in their lives forever. They listen to me too. And this bestie, Bestie B, was my college roommate. We survived living together, studying together, random outings, heartbreak, and the dawn of adult living. She knows the recipe for my go-to final exams breakfast omelet. She knows I clean to alleviate stress. I have not seen her in many months. Every second will be savored.

After visiting with her daughter and a tour of her new place, we moms go out to eat Mexican. We dive into life stage ponderings and problem solving which leads to a weekend project and of course, duh, the craft ~~store~~ stores. We visit JoAnn’s, Target, Walmart, & Michael’s. Shopping is something I hardly ever do these days. It feels good to wander.

Back at her home, the project ensues. We seek words that will lead to a personal mantra. A mantra is a slogan or phrase that one can use to meditate. It may be for a season or a lifetime. We hope creating a mantra will help steer our brains in a healthy way. Through conversation, we write down positive words and watch for the most important words to elevate. Our intent is to have a ready thought to help with current challenges.

I mean, my gal is an engineer and I consider myself a social scientist, so this was fun. Hours unfold. Words emerge. We are well past our usual bedtimes. I anticipate she will land on 3 separate words, but I am wrong.

With a sound effect of introduction well after midnight, a word phrase moves to the top of the post it note chart. We agree to sleep on the results and see if the mantra sticks. She has a mantra statement “Manage My Mind”. I have a mantra question “Is that thought helpful?”.

I wake up in a different place and watch Netflix undisturbed for an hour. As if I wasn’t already in Heaven, then I share in a bestie chocoholic breakfast. Yum.

Our fresh minds agree that the mantras fit even after sleep. These are our phrases for this season.

We move into craft time. She makes vinyl stencils with her Cricket (Thanks Daughter M for helping Bestie B figure it out over the phone). We place the stencils on decorative wood from Wal-mart ($2.97ea). We use one of the 12 paints in a set from Michael’s ($9.99set) and sponge brushes ($4.97set) to paint the words.

While paint dries we listen to the podcast “My Favorite Murder”. On the second round of paint drying, I nap a little and have to Google the rest of the podcast story. Then it is time to remove the stencils and fill in any missed spots.

I want to add glitter. We find cute large rounds of glitter at Walmart ($3.99). I use Elmer’s Glue to apply the sparkle.

Wah lah! Our mantras are ready to be placed in a spot where we will be reminded daily.

When it’s time to depart and without discussion, she finds a Ziploc bag to keep my new favorite sign from leaving glitter in my car. #Love

My mantra “Is that thought helpful?” reminds me of the Bible verse that talks about taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I’ll pay attention to how my brain functions over the next few months with this mantra hanging in my office. I don’t want to get stuck on “thinking” that is not useful. I want to train my brain to keep moving my thoughts and actions in a good direction.

If you get a chance to do a mantra making project, I would love to hear about it. I hope it is as fun and useful to you as it was to Bestie B & me.

Love,

Glenna

Eyeballs On Row4ALS

Published on December 6, 2018 by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

They finally caught my full attention after months of me casually following them on Instagram.

“They” are a team who is preparing to row across the Atlantic ocean!

On board will be the first person with ALS to be part of such a feat. You can read Alan’s story on their website http://www.row4als.org.

As I type the Row4ALS team is in Spain preparing for their December to February journey. Their goal is to raise money to cure ALS.

I am concerned that they do not have enough social media followers! Please follow or like Row4ALS on Instagram or Facebook! They have a Twitter account too, but it does not seem as active as Instagram and Facebook.

As readers know, ALS has hit our family hard. I am inspired by the Row4ALS team. Most mornings when I wake up, I pull the covers up and ask for a hug from Jesus. Then I read verses from the Bible. Then I look to make sure Hubby is breathing. Then I watch the latest on Instagram from Row4ALS.

Go Alan & team! Thank you for seeking a cure!

Deuteronomy 31:6 ~ Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid…; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Welcome to Our Mess

Published on November 7, 2018 by Glenna S. Edwards2 Comments

Sweet Baby Jesus, I think with 100% praise and 0% sarcasm.

In the same moment when I’m both on the bathroom floor at under the toilet rim level and inside the sink cabinet level, I see the ancient WD-40 can. Maybe I have seen the idea written on a meme or maybe someone wise mentioned it along the way, but I suddenly know exactly what I can do with said can.

First, I spray the rusty cabinet hinges. The doors adjust into their appropriate spots and squeak sounds disappear. Second, I spray under the toilet rim, wait, add bleach to the bowl, and scrub. Stubborn stains that I missed in past weekly scrubs begin to melt away. It’s a toilet gunk miracle.

And all this happened after a friend installed new sink faucets. Gasp! He may have seen the gunk pre-miracle. It also took place in the mostly off-limits for 20 years master bathroom. Guests don’t go there.

But now they do. In this challenging time for our family we’ve learned to be open. There’s not a single off-limits room now. Every step of the way has been about surrender.

Being honest with friends and strangers has led to more love than we could have imagined. People who love Jesus also found room to care about us.

One of my work philosophies is to meet people where they are without judgement and with listening ears. In recent weeks that same kindness has been reflected back to us. I see it in soft eyes and busy hands. We are down to packing, moving what’s left of our furniture, carpet installation and a thorough cleaning. This is doable. Thanks will never be enough. For my praying friends, please pray us through to the other side. Our bodies and minds are weary, but God’s love is strong.

Psalm 31:1-5  In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame;
    deliver me in your righteousness.  Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.  Since you are my rock and my fortress,
    for the sake of your name lead and guide me.  Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.  Into your hands I commit my spirit;
    deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.

3 Songs of Surrender

Published on October 31, 2018October 31, 2018 by Glenna S. EdwardsLeave a comment

And then the fridge broke. Dear God, I can not handle one more thing breaking.

Quickly the Holy Spirit reminds me that this is a first world problem. We go a week with the contents gone and the refrigerator doors open. I surrender this too, Lord. Take it please. I have nothing left in my brain to solve this challenge.

In a moment that reminds me there are no coincidences, I run into friends from a past small group at church. Within 50 hours the fridge is fixed. Hallelujah. I continue other house projects with volunteer help as it is available. Hubby has an extra tough week physically. ALS seems to have lows and lower lows, then levels out. There’s a pattern I can’t identify, but I know the clock ticks and we need to move to a more accessible home soon. I look forward to the day when I can see him rest easier in a new environment.

I listen to music while painting. Worship is powerful. It is my battle cry and my surrender prayer. Here are 3 songs that I listen to most through the brush strokes:

1. Who You Say I Am – Hillsong Worship. When I feel like I have failed, this song reminds me I am a child of God, chosen, not forsaken. While watching church online I share with Hubby, “I’m sorry. We were blessed to work with almost 7,000 kids and families in the last 15 years, and maybe this work has been a failure for our own family. It’s my fault.” He kindly answers, “How do you know it’s failed? Maybe not.” God is bigger than what my limited view can see. 2. It Is Well – Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music. No matter what happens “through it all my Eyes are on You, through it all it is well…and it is well with me.” “This mountain that is in front of me will be thrown into the sea.” “The waves and wind still know His name.” “So let go my soul and trust in Him.”

3. No Longer Slaves – Jonathan David & Bethel Music. Fear and spackle are frequent companions these days. This song reminds me “Love has called my name”. “I am surrounded by the arms of the Father”. “Let us sing freedom”. Fear is not welcome, but it is a daily fight.

There are miracles in process all around me. My angst is cast onto the Father continuously.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

I can not explain the miracles and help that has shown up but for the grace of God. To Him we give the glory. One day we may list out these miracles for you. To those who have literally been the hands and feet of Jesus, we thank you. And thanks is not enough.

We carry on in the home stretch marking things off the to-do list along the way.

When times are tough, what are your songs of surrender? What keeps you going? Do you have a worship battle plan?

3 Thoughts About ACE Scores

Published on October 27, 2018October 27, 2018 by Glenna S. Edwards1 Comment

Uh, that got my attention, I paused during an online training this week. I better get my act together.

The screen said that people with an ACE score of 6 or higher are more likely to die 2 decades prior to people with lower scores. ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. I’ve known for a couple of years now that my score is an 8.

3 thoughts:

1. I am astonished by the number of people who don’t know about the ACE study. Here is a link to learn more and to take the quick test: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean

2. Share this information with friends, family, and co-workers so that they will know about ACEs too. This can be helpful as people learn to address or heal personal wounds.

3. Lead with love. People may carry pain around without realizing it. Perhaps you are the kind, patient person that someone needs today.

It’s the weekend and I am house project focused. Our goal is to have the house on the market by November 10. I look forward to a calmer way of life in a few months. With the ACE score reminder I know my mind and body need a better pace in my adult life. My stress level has been too high for too long. I am beginning to understand that taking care of me is an acceptable priority.

3 John 1:2 ~ Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

Take care of you,

Scripture Spoke Louder

Published on August 22, 2018August 22, 2018 by Glenna S. Edwards1 Comment

I find treasure each weekend as we prepare to move. Most recently I discovered a 2-inch x 3-inch notebook from 1983. The paper has yellowed. The spiral wire feels rough like rust. The pages are difficult to turn.

Inside are Bible verses from a time when I took every curly q of cursive writing seriously. I was 11 years old in 1983. My guess is that in Sunday School we wrote a verse or two each week. The notebook is divided into Old Testament and New Testament sections, poetry, prophecy, and more. I have no idea who my Sunday School teacher was for this weekly exercise, but he or she was wise. What an excellent way to learn scripture.

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Almost every page contains Bible verses that have been with me nearly my whole life. They reside not only in a dark corner of my basement moved from home to home but also in the foundation of my heart.

Exodus 14:14, When adults have competing agendas and it is best to hold my tongue.

Leviticus 19:4, When the boy broke my heart. Uh, ok, boys. Plural. Worshiping another human is a trap often leading to disappointment. I learned only God can “complete me”.

Ruth 3:10, When I found strength in the fact that a gentle woman can still have power and grace.

2 Samuel 22:4, When I trusted God to deliver me from less than nice people. [Sidebar: Have you heard that 1 in 25 people may be a functioning sociopath? Check out a great book for more info: The Sociopath Next Door.]

Ecclesiastes 7:9, When I developed a slooooow fuse. I don’t anger easily. That is a blessing in my relationships.

Micah 7:7, When I feel scared or lonely and ask Jesus to wrap His arms around me as I go to sleep.

2 Corinthians 5:7, When I take healthy risks with hope for the best outcome.

John 3:16, When I maintain perspective on the greatest love story of all time.

Mark 16:15, When I chose to write a Christian blog and Christian manuscript about freedom found in surrender. Preach, sisters!

What scripture has spoken louder than your circumstances? Is there a teacher you need to thank? Or children in your life who will benefit from the time you take to build a notebook with them?

I am grateful for the caring adults who poured light into me even if it took 35 years for me to realize the lasting power of the wisdom they shared.

Glenna

Caregiver vs. Caregiver

Published on July 29, 2018August 31, 2018 by Glenna S. Edwards1 Comment

Perhaps I should not write this while I still remember her license plate number. This is fresh, y’all.

Let’s begin with one of my favorite quotes:

Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

It was a perfect breezy 80-degree morning, the kind of morning where it looks like the sun is gently kissing each surface around you. Hubby left for work with minimal physical challenges. I jump in the car early to go pick up snacks and water for a 24-person summer school field trip. I feel joyful and have plenty of time to shop in our local grocery store.

I paid without feeling rushed. I turn left out of the store to walk toward the ice chest. I need two bags of ice. Ahead of me is an elderly man shuffling his feet like Tim Conway from the old Carol Burnett show. I guess he is in his late 80’s or early 90’s.

My mind goes two places. One, I want to make sure I leave him plenty of room. I walk behind my cart slowly. Two, I find myself praying for him. I thank God that this man has lived a long life and ask that he have a wonderful day. Given his difficulty to walk, it is great that he is outside enjoying the weather.

I stop to place my hand on the ice chest door handle. The man is well ahead of me at this point. Suddenly my eye catches sight of erratic body movements further ahead of the man. Jumping out of a white SUV parked curbside down by the liquor store is a woman near my age. Her arms flail. Her voice is loud.

“You’re about to be run over, Grandpa!” She bellows. I notice her slim figure looks good in white pants. Odd the things you pay attention to sometimes.

Aw, I think maybe she is trying to banter with him. To connect. To have fun.

Censored beep, beep, beep later I realize she is not being playful at all. She is livid. At me.

She yells my direction, “Some people are so rude!”

What?!

I attempt to tuck in my inner Martha. Martha, my mom, had a short fuse made of magnesium. I can let this go.

And then my mouth opens anyway.

“Maybe from your perspective,” I send her way. “But from where I am I was giving him plenty of space and even saying prayers of thanksgiving for him.” I know that probably sounded stupid, but it was true.

After all, the woman is beyond us and there is even a brick column obstructing her view. From where her SUV is parked it would be easy to jump to conclusions. There’s no way she can accurately assess the distance between Grandpa and me from her location.

And then her mouth opens. She combines words like prayer and the b word and other words I’m not going to type.

Sigh…this day had been going so well.

Is she coming after me? My faux Terminator eye surveys our surroundings. In seconds I assess where the security cameras hopefully are, what time it is, how my body will flatten hers if she hits me first, and contemplate if I can withstand assault charges. I am not proud of this. I’m just saying I was raised in a way that is ready for unanticipated action. Generally, I am a pleasant person. I try to maintain a kind face even in these strained moments.

I finish putting ice in my cart. Grandpa shuffles into the liquor store and the angry lady gets back into her SUV. I step into the parking lot so I can make a mental note of her license plate, then turn right to find my car.

I maintain awareness as I load my trunk. I know my insides are shaking a little bit.

Sitting in the car I text a trusted BFF to ask for prayer. A day once going well now feels scary.

When back on the road, I see the SUV. The lady still looks erratic. She runs her hands through her hair many times and might be yelling at Grandpa.

I drive, pray, go over the checklist for the day. Crisis adverted.

Then a deep truth hit my heart. That lady is a caregiver for Grandpa. I don’t know if she is every day, but this day she is. As my mind softens, I dismiss some judgement about how if she really cared about Grandpa she wouldn’t send him alone into either store and especially not the one with hundreds of glass bottles. It occurs to me that maybe as a caregiver she is angry.

And sometimes I feel angry as a caregiver too.

I just felt anger toward a fellow caregiver. With good reason, I saw her as an enemy first. But what does the Bible say about our response to enemies?

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44

Do I love her?

How long did it take me to pray for my enemy? Answer: 38 minutes

It was easy to recognize Grandpa’s struggles, but it was hard to recognize the possibility of her struggle. It took me 38 minutes to pray for her. Maybe she needed to let off steam and I was an easy target. To follow are a few additional thoughts about invisible caregiver pain:

1. People don’t read minds. The SUV lady couldn’t read my mind and I couldn’t read hers. Lord, May we try to give people grace first instead of judgement.

2. Perspective is varied. Depending on where you are standing or what you are doing at the moment before you look up makes a big difference in what you see. I suspect if the woman had been parked behind us or beside us she may not have jumped to the conclusion that Grandpa was in danger.

3. How often do we miss the caregivers? We sign up for meal trains, we bring things to patients who are sick, but what can we do for caregivers? There are other blogs and articles with ideas on this. I encourage you to keep caregivers in mind when you support people who are hurting. Lord, Please help caregivers to be comforted, seen, and heard. Also, help me to be sensitive to the journey of others. Amen.

Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished. 1 Chronicles 28:20

When Was The Last Time

Published on July 21, 2018 by Glenna S. Edwards1 Comment

When was the last time he took my hand and we took a walk together? When was the last time he could stand up from the couch without thinking about how to stand? How many years ago was the last time he could golf–his all-time favorite activity? When was the last time our home did not involve daily groans and pain?

As a mother, I vowed to cherish everything about our sons: every flutter as they swam in the womb, first grins, first toys, first words. My heart skipped beats when their little hands kept reaching for mine well into elementary school years. I knew their childhood would end. I treasured their soft skin and cuddles. I would not squander those moments. And while storing up sweet memories I welcomed the fact that one day our boys would move on to a greater destiny beyond their mom’s heart.

What I did miss was treasuring simple moments with my husband. Yes, I appreciated him. Yes, we tried to spend time together. Yes, we overcame the fact that opposites really do attract and chose to draw closer to God, our translator, to communicate. Yes, we did not give up on our marriage or each other. But did I truly cherish him? I didn’t think he was leaving. And he hasn’t left, but sometimes it seems like he isn’t all here either. My mind reaches for precious moments of ease that I forgot to store in my brain.

Grief arrives in many forms. Sometimes we grieve the loss of a job or relationship. I’ve endured the pain of people close to me passing away. You may have too. And now I endure the pain of watching chronic illness ALS-21 steal expectations we had for our present and future. Our youngest child is a teenager. I thought we had more time before hubby and I grew old together. But symptoms of old slowly moved into our home decades too soon. We are like the metaphoric frog in the pot of tepid water who didn’t know the heat was about to turn up. We sat calmly in the pot not noticing that the water began to boil our circumstances.

I spend hours each week clearing “stuff” out of our house. It feels like we are in a race against the clock to move to a more accessible place. We had plans to remodel that will never happen while we are here. I feel the ugly emotion of jealously toward people I haven’t met who will do projects here that I likely will not see. Tears drizzle my checks occasionally over leaving our home of 20 years too soon. What really got me down deep was when our oldest son was home on leave from the Air Force. A couple nights he didn’t want to go see friends. He shared that he just wanted to enjoy the walls of our home because he knew he might not ever again get to come home to this address.

On the flip side of the moving coin, I celebrate the thought of being in a home where my husband doesn’t have to crawl upstairs at night. Are we old enough to require a no steps living arrangement? Apparently yes. This thought process requires me to clear clutter faster. Time is not waiting for me. I’ve quit looking at other homes online because I need to focus on the task of leaving this home first. I trust God will provide the right place for us at the right time.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

I often tell myself that our situation could be worse, that there are worse things that people deal with. These thoughts push me along to be grateful for the good things in our lives that we do have, or things that are better because we’ve had to adapt. For example, I’m not sure my husband has ever verbally appreciated me more than he does now. His kind words mean a lot to me. We are also more forgiving and appreciative these days. It seems like we have reached a calm place where we are slow to anger and less judgmental. I thank God for the side benefits of sticking together and pushing through tough times as a team.

Are you grieving a loss or expectation of any size? It takes time to grapple with it. If you have tips or favorite verses about grieving that you would like to share, please comment. I’d love to hear from you.

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When times are tough, what are your songs of surrender? What keeps you going? Do you have a worship battle plan?

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